This week...

As I read blogs this week, I have had so many emotions playing out in me. There are things that just plainly leave you utterly speechless. Well, this week two blogs did just that to me. The first being Gug’s GayUganda. Reading his article Sunday Afternoon…Sunday Morning, my first reaction was to bust out laughing. Incredible, just incredible.  Then anger followed...How sick can a man’s mind be to accuse people of terrorism just because they are different? Nkt.(1^st time I am using this..) Please see this link on the same story http://wthrockmorton.com/2010/11/13/ugandas-rolling-stone-blames-terrorist-attacks-on-gays/ Who is this Giles Muhame?

I wanted to know who is this dude. I just had to find out. Curiosity was killing me. The details I came across affirmed my suspicions. He is only 22 years old. Figures! For a 22year old, he sure owns everything! Still wet behind the ears; being taken advantage of by people who know better; he has become the judge and jury of Uganda’s homosexuals. Hmm…I pity him. I feel sorry for him. I would love to have a conversation with him 8years down the line.

The second article was from the blog Lez Get Real. I have been following the story of a corrective rape case in South Africa that has been online for a while. You can get the full story on this link http://lezgetreal.com/2010/11/the-shocking-truth-of-corrective-rape-survivors-speak-from-south-africa/

The fact that gang rape is something that hits too close to home is negligible (having gone through the same not so many years ago); what struck me is the strength of the women in the video. As they tell their story, I felt my chest constrict followed by a pain that I could not describe. Simply put, it cut like a knife.

I cannot understand the depth of hatred that fellow human beings can have in them to force themselves into another and hope to change that individuals mind about their sexuality. How daft can one be? When did we stoop so low? How can a group of men rape 13year old twins because they “do not want them to be lesbians like their mother” and someone think that's right? Are we that ignorant? Are we that heartless?

I think I am still enraged… yes I am. No... this is not rage...what I feel... what I feel...i cannot aptly put into words right now.hmmm...

(Breathing)

I am none to judge a fellow human being; but every bone in me says this is wrong. Dead wrong. Nothing can justify rape of any kind. Nothing can justify harming another just because you have different beliefs. Nothing justifies making others live like cages birds while you claim the sky. There is just no justification; religious or otherwise.

I believe that as LGBT people we will rise; we will rise beyond the hatred, we WILL rise beyond the inequality, we WILL rise beyond religious and political bigotry, we WILL rise beyond the intimidation; we will RISE!

Diversity: Variety is the spice of life!

Am having a terrible cold and all I can think of is my girlfriend. I know that if she was here, I would be getting VIP treatment with a little tongue lashing to go with it. I love having a lot of TLC when am feeling unwell…not the smothering kind but the am-right-here-for-you kind. To take my mind off her absence I have decided to write something for the blog. Am not sure what it is I want to write about but I guess we’ll all find out at the end.

The other day I took a trip to the doctors. I have this skin condition that only comes when the whether is changing. Now that we are approaching ‘winter’ (not that it snows here); the rushes have sprung out of hiding. I have never been bothered about them before but for some reason I think its time I found out what they are. So I talked my colleague into booking an appointment with a doctor he was seeing for his skin condition.

Well the appointment was confirmed but when I got there; I had to wait for an hour to be attended. Reason: the doctor was attending to other patients. I was in a foul mood and being kept waiting did not help much. Looking around, I was the only black skinned patient. Now I asked myself; do I really have to ask why am being kept waiting? As the nurse at the reception called the lady who had an appointment after my appointment; I felt the anger growing in me. Was I being overlooked? Should I go to the reception and ask what the hell is going on? Was I seeing preferential treatment here or am I overreacting?  I decided to sit and wait and made a mental note to take it up with the doctor which I eventually did. In a sarcastic way with a tilt of humor, I made known my thought on the appointment system and the preferential treatment I was accorded. The doctor on his part, an elderly Indian man, acknowledged and apologized on behalf of his staff. His tone was of an adult to a two year old child. Well I decided to ignore.

But one thing kept running through my mind. Was I treated different? What if they new I was a lesbian would it have been worse? When we are all human; why do we treat people differently? As depicted in George Orwell’s book Animal Farm…is it true that all animals are equal but others are more equal than others?  I look at the palm of my hands and my fingers clearly show me that we were not meant to be the same. Some short and some long but they are still fingers. If you lost a finger, wouldn’t you be somehow disabled?

It does not matter whether you are straight or gay, whether smart or stupid, whether rich or poor. We are all human beings. Variety is the spice of life…

“We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.” – Maya Angelou

It is therefore unfortunate that we are willing to ostracize, kill, maim, rape, bully or insult others just because they are different. How far are we willing to go before we realize that what makes us different is what binds us together?

Food for thought:  

“Toward no crimes have men shown themselves so cold- bloodedly cruel as in punishing differences of belief” – James Russell Lowell

Sweetp

Discovering new things?

Every time I need a change, I try out for something out of the ordinary. When I was younger, I went for a haircut good enough to complement my tomboyish look. Sometimes I tried out changing my wardrobe into some few things more feminine. Recently, I moved to dreadlocks. I have thought of having them since I was sixteen but at the time thoughts of my mother’s wrath dispelled all hopes. Most people would say there is nothing wrong with having dreadlock, and I know that. But, if you had you fingers nearly chopped off for wearing a ring, you’d know not to mess with my mother. It would be good to know that she has mellowed down with age though.

I chose dreadlocks purely because it would not only symbolize a new beginning but because I thought I would look good. More like killing two birds with one stone. It is also a constant reminder of what I missed out when in my teen and early twenties. I am a late bloomer in many ways. My little journey to self acceptance begun in 2009; in this short time, I have learnt so much that I did not know before. The major discovery was that there are people out there who are like me and are actually known to be who they are. Wow, now that was a shocker. Then discovering movies and books…which planet have I been living in? Then came the big question, is this even acceptable? Am a Christian, how can I relate this to my faith?

Could I risk taking a long hard look at the mirror and trying to come into terms with the view that will be looking right back at me?

I asked myself hard questions that I had never thought to explore before. Why was I born a woman and not a man? Why am I black and not white? Why am I relatively tall and not a midget? Why? Why? Why? Do I even like me? If you asked me who I am, would I able to summarize it all in one word?

As much I would love to say that I came out with something concrete in terms of answers; I will disappoint you. Not a thing. Not one answer or even a clue. Instead I began to appreciate all the little things that make me who I am. I found out that I am a lot of thing that not one word can describe. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunty, a friend, a lover, a colleague, a neighbor, an advisor, a mentor, a cousin etc. I hold a host of roles that one word can not describe who I am. 

I am also a lesbian but ultimately I am a human being.

I love who I am.

Sweetp.